SaGiRL's BLoG

2011-12-19T14:40:00.001-08:00

Its so hard because I have nothing to complain about yet Im so sad on the inside.
I have so much to be thankful for and dont want to sound ungrateful but I feel so lonely sometimes.

Its so hard to explain and finding a solution seems impossible.

I get to experience so many amazing things yet I dont have a someone special to do it with. To make memories with.....A friend, a lover......no one......

Trying to keep swimming but its hard. I feel like Im going to sink.....

Over and Out....

2011-07-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

Why do we still hang around when we know its just gonna end in tears? Why do we always hope that the faith we have in a person will be stronger than the truth and that just maybe maybe maybe?

Just lovely, most of the time! I can't really elaborate but the first few hours we spent together is how I got to know you as a person and I really liked that person. Now a days its not like that and well, it can be but it won't that that makes me sad.....
I mean some days it is and those are rocking days....then it gets flipped and I wish I could understand it more and try to see it the way you do but I don't and never will.....

The times we do have like the way I know you are amazing and wonderful and make me smile from the inside out but those moments seem to be more and more limited.....

You know when you know you should walk but its just to hard....WHY!????

Over and Out!

2011-04-16T07:21:00.000-07:00

So I guess I just need to vent because its how Im feeling! I could vent to someone but they just wont get it.....its not possible to explain how I feel.

You have no idea what an ass you are. You have no idea how selfish and clueless you are. You have no idea what a friend actually is and when you asked me for respect, I should have asked you if you know what the word means!!!

I seem to give and give and it just gets taken and then some how I feel like my heart gets ripped out of my chest. Im not talking about love....Im talking about when you give time and feelings and patience and understand and you think its appreciated but in actual fact its not and there was never ever a teeny tiny bit of appreciation. You never actually gave a hoot and just drained out as much goodness to make you feel good. To make yourself feel special and wanted and to give yourself a boost. I was only ever there for you to feel wanted and that you are worth something.

But the truth is, you are nothing. You have no concept of other people's feelings. You dont know to treat people around you as people unless you want something from them. You give just so that you can take it all and then toss the unwanted material away.

I have a feelings. I am a person with a warm heart and I deserved better! I took all the bad you gave and instead of listening to my friends......real friends, I stood up for you because I believed that deep down inside you were a good person. You were someone who just needed a bit of understanding and time and that the things you said were actually true.....I should have listened to my inner feelings and known that you were exactly as people had warned me about you.

What's sad is that you are going to do exactly the same to the new person. How do I know this because I can see it happening in exactly the same order and way you did it with me. So stupid....I was so stupid to believe there was something decent inside you.

I want to wish bad on you! I want to wish that one day it happens the other way round and that you feel the way you making me feel but I dont......I really hope you never feel the way you have made me feel....I hope that you never have to feel used and abused and broken because you thought the respect, trust and honesty was a two way thing.

You need to understand what words mean before you ask for them from someone!!

Friend -a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
Honesty -truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.

Respect - esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability

Trust -reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

- confident expectation of something; hope.

F i n a l l y !

2010-12-25T16:46:00.001-08:00

MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY xmas..........

Its been an interesting day but thats not why Im here.....

saw the one person that has caused alot of thinking and emotions in my life the other day and I think its finally done....like D O N E ! I didnt think I would ever say it but after all this time, I think Im FINALLLLLLY over you!

It was good to see you.....was weird and strange but so "normal!" at the same time. Took me most of the time together to try and work out how I felt. I had to rush off to work, jumped in a cab and just as quickly as it all started, it seemed to end......

Will miss our good times.....our wonderful moments and how you made me fell but its so good to finally let go!

1 2 3 will forever be yours and them funny black and white birds.....

Thanks for the good times......

2010-05-30T16:57:00.001-07:00

Just cant stop thinking bout you or us....and its driving me nuts! deleted you from fb and your phone number from my phone so that I dont send you random messages but there just always seems to be SOMETHING that reminds me of you.....

WHY!?

Aaaargh!

What annoys me the most is that I dont know if its because I cant have "us" that I want us so much or if its because you are "the one"

Ive given SO much and recieved SO little.....def time to let go but why is it so DAMN hard :(

*blah*

Over and Out!

b l a h

2010-04-09T15:31:00.000-07:00

b l a h ! thats how i feel and i have no idea why!
feel like just writing which is why im here.....my mind seems to be filled with a zillion million things and i cant seem to find an off button...

sometimes i wish i could just have few glimpses into the future to see in which direction i need to head....

realised too that we really need to appreciate what we have in life and love the ones around us...ppl get taken away so easily and as we get older it seems to happen more often!

signing out
*wave*

Montreal - Canada

2009-08-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

Im back in Montreal and ready for another 3 months of training at Cirque's HQ's.

Who knows what will happen and how my life will change in the next few months but Im here to learn, train hard and have fun!

*wave*

OMG I have a Blog!!!!

2009-06-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

hahaha, just stumbled onto my own blog....I forgot I even had this here....how funny!!

As you can see, its been years since I wrote....guess I should write and do a catch-up....will save it for another rainy day!

*wave*

The expenditure of energy

2007-03-09T19:09:00.000-08:00

The past few months have been rather intense on my emotions. Ive never really been quite this confussed about how I feel about something.

The problem that Ive reached now is that I dont know if I should just give up and save the energy and emotions Im using for something else.....
I mean that sounds like the most simplest thing to do but in actual fact its not.
WHY?
Because if I stop using that energy and all those emotions, I might lose this one thing. The problem with losing it, is that Im not sure I will ever find something close or similar to it....

Hmmm, I think I confussed myself there!!

*wave*

him and me - oh so true!

2007-02-12T17:46:00.000-08:00

------------AUGUST BABY ---------------
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds onattention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "everything's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone".longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld orrestricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious.independent. strong willed. a fighter.

---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angryoften. Treats friends importantly. Brave andfearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt butrecovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest ANDsexiest of them all.

When, who and how

2007-02-03T18:51:00.000-08:00

In life we have ups and downs and we go through stages where we think we know everything and think that its the way it should be.

When do we know if we should move on to something new, give up what we have to take a chance to do something different or new. I realise life is about risks but should we give up something if it works perfectly fine to maybe find something better?

I love what I do but unless I find someone in my industry to perform with I will always be on my own....

The Italian come a realisation today it made me realise alot of things.....life is scary sometimes....actually most of the time...

For now, from cold Germany
*wave*

?

2007-01-19T08:39:00.001-08:00

Is it better to love and to be hurt or to never love and not know the feeling of love or hurt?

Knowing the truth!

2007-01-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

Its amazing how when there is something you want to know but dont know, you always wonder once you've found out, that you cant decide if you are glad to know or would've preferred not to know!!

Wow, did that sentence make any sense!?

People sometimes keep things from you because they think that its better for you not to know but why do they get to choose if its better for you or not? Suppose its a big circle which just goes round and round!!

Over and out

*wave*

Becoming a home owner

2007-01-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

Well Im officially a BIG person now.

Bought my first little apartment and my years of morgage begin!!! 20 years, here we come! :)

Its very exciting but yet stressful at the same time.....

To being a home ower

*wave*

:(

2006-12-10T20:56:00.000-08:00

I feel like crying....Ive managed to disappoint someone I look up to and its a horrible feeling.

I didnt do anything wrong or bad but now I feel like I did....why is it always so difficult to please the world.

I dont like this feeling....
*sigh*

Laterz
*wave*

words

2006-12-10T12:05:00.000-08:00

Well Im home and its FABULOUS to be home. I havent really had a holiday as I have not STOPPED! :) Been rehearsing alot for the show we are joining and then also drinking WAY to much!

Trying to chill a little and get the zillion things I want to get finished done!

Went out on Friday and was approached by a friend who was a little drunk. He asked me something about someone and then then straight forward insulted me. I didnt know what to say and just stood there in shock. I excused myself (as there were 2 other friends) and just walked away completely flabagasted (howeva u spell that!)

To add more adventures to the night, the person who I got insulted about, managed to piss me off too by leaving me waiting for him after asking me to meet him for 20 mins. I know it sounds silly but there is nothing more annoying!

So, what an eventful night.

The insulting someone called yesterday to apologise. I think its because one of the other friends might have mentioned that I wasnt coming to their house party because of the prior evenings events!!!

Its amazing how a few words put into a little sentence can hurt so much!

*wave*

saying goodbye....

2006-11-14T13:46:00.000-08:00

14 November 2006
Well I have 6 days left with Valerio and then its all over….yeah, just like that!? Im not sure how Im really feeling! Im fine and then Im not. Sometimes I just want to sit down and cry. I keep telling myself its going to be okay and easy and I will be fine but I think Im kidding myself!

Its so difficult to know the truth because it’s a ship and life on ships are just not real. Its like living in a bubble.Today I told him that Im inlove with him and he asked me if I think its real. I do, I really do but would I feel the same about him if we weren’t on the ship? If we had to spend "real" time together and live a "real" life?

I think Ive worked it out…why we are so good together. I think he is the male form of me. We think the same, do the same things, want the same things and have the same intentions…..Anyways, the only word I can come up with the explains the situations properly is -BLAH- because that’s how I feel. I guess only time will tell how I really feel and if what I think is love, really is!

*wave*

2006-11-14T10:01:00.000-08:00

Well I have 6 days left with Valerio and then its all over….yeah, just like that!? Im not sure how Im really feeling! Im fine and then Im not. Sometimes I just want to sit down and cry. I keep telling myself its going to be okay and easy and I will be fine but I think Im kidding myself!

Its so difficult to know the truth because it’s a ship and life on ships are just not real. Its like living in a bubble.Today I told him that Im inlove with him and he asked me if I think its real. I do, I really do but would I feel the same about him if we weren’t on the ship? If we had to spend "real" time together and live a "real" life?

I think Ive worked it out…why we are so good together. I think he is the male form of me. We think the same, do the same things, want the same things and have the same intentions…..

Anyways, the only word I can come up with the explains the situations properly is -BLAH- because that’s how I feel. I guess only time will tell how I really feel and if what I think is love, really is!

*wave*

Im ok :)

2006-10-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

Well things with the Italian are going well! They are just right....

He makes me smile,
He makes me laugh,
He makes me sad,
He makes me happy,

Ag Im just okay!

Trying to just enjoy the moment because thats how I went into this but Im finding it very difficult not to fall for him.....very difficult!

I guess I will have to wait to see where things go!

*wave*

cheesy grin

2006-10-13T17:28:00.000-07:00

Referring back to "that spark" I was speaking about the other day...actually I think it was like 2 months ago...

Anyways, its such a nice feeling...I permantely have a stupid grin on my face and when I think about him or he kisses me, I get all warm and glowey...

Feel like a teenager with a crush...

Anyways,

*wave*

Slide show!

2006-10-07T11:33:00.000-07:00

some truth

2006-09-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

that sense of loss is a good thing, though - makes life worth living to have met people who can do that to you....

How true is that??

that spark...

2006-09-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

its weird how you have a feeling around someone...i guess im talking about the opposite sex...you both just know its sparking and well i guess we just go with it...

is it the right person when that spark never fades?? no no, havent found the one yet but i was gonna write wouldnt it be great if that spark never faded...maybe it doesnt when you find the THE ONE....

*wave*

C H A N T A L

2006-07-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

CHANTAL
C	is for	Cheeky
H	is for	Hilarious
A	is for	Ambitious
N	is for	Nutty
T	is for	Tricky
A	is for	Ambitious
L	is for	Luscious

What Does Your Name Mean?

Birth and Death

2006-06-16T15:59:00.000-07:00

Found out on Wednesday that my gran passed away...just like that!! She was gonna turn 84 this month....
On the same day I found out that my friend Liza is pregnant and due in March. How weird is that?? One dies and one is born....

Was just a weird thought....

*wave*

How quickly things happen! :(

2006-06-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

While browsing around the internet I came across a really sad article about Olena, a Cirque Du Soliel performer who has been in a serious accident. They are raising money for her and if you can please help!!

http://www.passiontolive.com/olena/index.html

*wave*
Chantal

Sex and the City

2006-06-01T15:09:00.000-07:00

While on holiday in London I managed to spend a fortune on the entire series of Sex and the City. BUT, you know what....its been damn worth it!!!

I LOVE this program and have had a few good giggles and some crys.

Found this on the net and thought it would be fun to take......I turned out to be Carrie!!

Must dash!
*wave*

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date.But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal?It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky.Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what!
Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year...
Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Am I a flirt :) g

2006-06-01T05:19:00.000-07:00

Your Flirt Quotient

You are 73% Flirt

How Much of a Flirt Are You?

Good-byes.....

2006-05-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

Another day goes by where I had to say bye to people.

I love my job but its one that has the disadvantage of sooooo many people coming in and out of my life!!! It really sucks because I hate saying goodbye, but then, who doesnt?

Today Vera, an aerial artist that has been working on my ship for the last 2 months has left. She is moving to the Lircia as we dont need so many aerialist on our ship.
Shes fabulous and Im gonna miss her stax!!! I just really hope that we can meet up again sometime soon!

Not only did she leave, but another person left. Its someone I didnt really get to know that well but really enjoyed his company. I never really got to work him out but I have some of my own ideas to why he is the way he is....

Safe travels to them both!

*wave*
Chantal

Sunnnnnnnny Weather

2006-05-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

Its amazing how the weather can help improve a mood. I love sunshine and I love the way it makes me feel!

Today is really hot....rollerblading to internet was exhausting not only because of the heat but also because Im dead tired!! Had a late night, semi-early morning which included training. Been training rather hard and I think I can actually say Im fit. I mean I thought I was strong and all that but since Vera has been on the ship, Ive been doing fitness and strength with her and its made me realise how NOT strong I actually am!

Its the Cheif Engineers birthday today so we gonna have a big party tonight. Looking forward to it actually. Always nice to be around people. Last night all the girls ditched me again to go be with their men....I suppose I would do the same if I had a man but it really sucks because it happens almost everytime we go out!!

Still missing Yoni soooooooo much! Some days more than others but I guess there isnt much I can do.
We spoke on Sunday and after not really wanting to talk to him, a few moments of me telling him how upset I was and then some feelings from his side, we got talking like normal. He called yesterday again and that just made me miss him so much....

Still trying to work it all and well I dont think I will ever understand LOVE......

Time to dash!
*wave*

Love, life and emotions

2006-05-12T15:38:00.001-07:00

Its been over a month since my ex left and well his life seems to be going on just fine. Its really difficult because usually I believe things people say but should we? How do we actually know when people are telling the truth?

Since living on the ships I have learnt sooo much about how people work. Ive seen so much unfaithfulness, lies and how people just dont have a clue that they are being lied to and how their boyfriend/girlfriends have other lives.

Here is an example....someone I know has had a girlfriend for almost a year now. During that time I know of 5 girls he has slept with while being with her. Its not an open relationship and she has NO clue. A whole lot of other people know and she has confronted him but he lied his way out of it and she believes him.
Currently she is at home, in Naples and well, he has another shag on the ship, who knows about the girlfriend back home but believes something to the extent that he just doesnt have the heart to break up with her.....all alot of CROCK!

So yeah....I had this idea of how perfect my last relationship was and about how he cared about me and this and that but now it seems it was all just shit....he is home and its been a week since I last heard from him. Why should I always be the one making the contact.....if he really cared, shouldnt he be making some kind of effort.

Im pretty sure he is shagging someone new....whether shes just a time filler or the beginning of a new big relationship, I guess it just hurts that Ive been put to the past so quickly!!

Why do we fall inlove if each time someone has to come out hurting.....

I think Ive been watching to much Sex and the City :)

*wave*
Over and Out!

Missing the ex!

2006-05-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

Sunday night sailing to Bari...

Its been just over a month now since my man got sent home and Im finding it really difficult to adjust. I miss so him much and well, me being the unlucky one who is stuck here, (not to sound soppy or anything) but I think Im worse off.
He is back home and well life has pretty much just carried on for him. He moved into his apartment, started doing those things you do at home and even makes weekend plans (living on board, the word weekend doesnt really mean much!)

With so much time on my hands and the series, Sex and the City being on sale, you can imagine what Ive been doing. Im not sure its the best series to be watching while being man sad and lonely but it just gets me thinking so much!!! Its rather scary how right she is about so many things in life....

Is it really worth giving our hearts to someone when there is like a HUGE risk involved? I mean how many times do we have to stick our heart back together before Mr Right comes along? When are we suppose to stop what we are doing and make finding Mr Right the biggest Priorty?
I have so many friends who are either in a serious relationship, engaged or even married (WITH kids).....I know (or so Ive been told), Mr Right will come
along when you least expect it but Im starting to think that line is just nonsense...

With my best friend tucked in next door with her boyfriend, Im off to sleep with good memories of my ex who just doesnt seem to get it....why is it that one person always seems to suffer more when a break up (no matter what the reason) has happened? Why does one person always miss the other move? Why does it have to be so hard???

To that thing called love.....

Layla Tov

2006-05-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

Just writing because its been so long since I did......

New season on the ship which is suppose to be fun and exciting but this time Im finding it a bit boring, lonely and cold. The weather is still poof which I think might be contributing to my mood. I NEED SUNSHINE!

My boy got disembarked at the end of last season and its sucks not having him around! I miss the hugs and love sooooooooooooo much......amazing how good a hug can be!

Anyways, outta here!

*wave*

Hurt and upset!!!

2006-03-02T18:01:00.000-08:00

Amazing how just one little sentence from someone can piss you off so badly that you never actually want to speak to them again!!! Also amazing how its always the closet people to you and the ones you should actually never ignore or be sooooo upset with!

Its a long story and I dont think I should get into it here but it all boils down to a person hating someone much!? I dont see why this person hates the other person soooo much!! Its all really pathetic actually expect that one little sentence has made me never actually want to speak to them again!!

Im not sure how to deal with this situation and its been 3 days since we spoke....I dont plan on speaking to them anytime soon either....

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!

*wave* from beautiful Buzios!

Finallly!!

2006-02-16T13:24:00.000-08:00

Okay so this is the first time Im writing in YONKS!! I'm not sure if I can blame it on not having permanent internet access and having to rely on internet cafes but because I don't have another excuse, Im gonna use it!!

So many times I have things I wanna write about, start structing it in my head and then forget about them. Gonna try a little harder and when these moments occur, grab my laptop and put it down!!

So you will see I have added some posts from ages ago....keep writing them on my laptop and forgetting to put them up.

All for now
*wave*

Just writing.....

2006-02-06T15:28:00.000-08:00

Right now Im sitting at the back of the ship and all I can see is water. We have a full day at sea which means we're in the middle of NO WHERE, with NO signal and nothing to do. In other words, Bored! I never realised exactly how much water there is out there. I mean, of course in my mind I pictured lots but its not until you stand and stare into the sea that you realise how much lots really is!

50 days to go and we'll be back in Europe!!! Where did the season go? Still not sure whats in store for next season as our boss hasnt told us on which ship we will be. Have asked him to move us to another ship which goes to ports I have never seen or to places Ive never ever thought of seeing!!! Always some politics involved so we'll just wait and see. Yoni's contract only finishes in September so as it stands he will stay on the Armonia. We have spoken about it and said he will ask for a transfer if we Julie and I move ships. It could all work out or it could be another one of those stories!! End of seasons are always sad moments when it comes to relationships!! Julie's boy finishes at the end of May and he doesnt wanna sign another one....he wants to go HOME! Hmmm, its gonna be sucky!!!

All for now!
*wave from the middle of the sea*

Put a smile on my face

2006-02-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

Well just something I had to write about.....might not be as funny for you reading it!! I guess you had to be there!
Walking down one of the main streets in Rio, you'll find lots of hawkers selling things from sweets, toothbrushes, phone cables and then the most illegal ones, copied movies and software. As a passer by it never really accures to you how they really not suppose to be there until you see 3 big scary policemen with battons running down the street and if you look just ahead of them, you'll notice a hawker with all his movies under one arm, a bag over the other one, running for his life, dodging buses and traffic!! You'll also notice as you keep walking that there are little tables all along the street with nothing on them. The funniest thing, within 20 minutes, with the police gone, those tables are filled again with all the things in the world you can think of and a hawker standing close by!

Kinda made my day start with a smile!

Ooooooops!

2005-12-06T11:40:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, not entirely sure how I got the days all mixed up but instead of having 3 LONG days at sea, we have acutally only had one and 2 interesting ports!!

Today we're in Tennerife. Got up REALLY eary to go out with Yoni and Doron. They start working at 11:30 so it was a morning adventure. Most things have been closed but now that the day has moved on, the shops are slowly opening.

Yesterday we were in Malaga. Cute little place but not as nice as Alicante! Now thats somewhere I would like to go on holiday. Really beautiful and just plain nice!

2 days at sea, a port and then the LONG 3 days at sea. REALLY NOT looking forward to it but then maybe I can sort my life out! So many things to sort out in my cabin and some organising to do.

Performing my new scarf act in 2 days....rather stressed about it as Im rather unfit and we havent really had any practice time. EVERYONE wants the stage and unlike the others that can rehearse anywhere else, we need the roof!
Julie reckons I will be okay so I guess I will just have to put lots of glitter on and flash a big smile!

All for now!
*wave*

Bracing myself!

2005-12-03T15:14:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow starts phase one of our Trans-atlantic torture!! 3 FULL (very long) days at sea. Been in Spain the last two days which has been wonderful as Spain is beautiful. I much prefer it to Italy. Just so much more clean!!

Arriving in Rio 15 days and then the amazing Brazil season starts! Really looking forward to it.
As for work, seems we will be working less.....go figure as we got a raise to! Dont think Im complaining just a strange concept in itself!

Must still write about our 50 hour get to Europe trip but dont feel like that now. Will probably only get it up once in Brazil so just hang in there!

For now, Byeeeeeeeeeeee!

*wave*

Cape Town! :)

2005-11-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

Its gotto be one of the MOST beautiful cities in the world!!! SOOOOO amazing!! Spent some time on my favourite beach and then went for a drink at good old La Med. Sat there and just look around at the mountains, the sea and breathing in the clean air....

I LOVE Cape Town!

For those of you who havent seen it yet, U must try get here cause you missing out. For those of you who are away from home, its still as beautiful as ever!!!

*wave*

2 weeks to go!

2005-11-15T17:47:00.000-08:00

Well in two weeks time I will be at the airport. Scary thought because I cant belive how quickly the days are going! Loving being home and actually think I could settle down again....suppose thats only because Ive only been here a week. Bet you that after a week or two I would want out again!

So nothing exciting has happened. Went to Gym yesterday morning and man do my legs hurt!!! Its not even funny! Here I thought I was rather fit and all that....NOT! Even my arms hurt! Nice workout though and probably gonna get the gym again tomorrow. Got action cricket again tonight which is ALWAYS fun! :)

Watched a friend play Ice Hockey last night which was rather entertaining. Really should learn some of the rules for next time cause it was rather confussing at times!!

Should go! My phone bills are going to be HUGE!!! As Julie always says, "we only live once and its only money!!"

Outta here!
*wave*

Ps. Ryan if you are reading this, you have been tagged!!!

Short weeks summary!

2005-11-14T07:49:00.000-08:00

So its been a week at home and well Im starting to get nice and settled. Leaving in two weeks is going to be a little tough! :) So many things I miss about living on land! Driving has to be the first one! I miss it sooooooo much and wish I could hide a car somewhere on the ship! *g*

Its been an interesting week with WAY to much alchohol, good food and of course some male issues....MEN!

The male issue is just to LONG and makes me angry/sad/annoyed/pissed off each time I think about it. To cut it short, the guy I WAS seeing, couldnt not shag his X who came to visit for 4 days! I really hope he made the best of those 4 days and that he has started looking for a new girl, cause Im out of this "relationship!!"
Sorry to genealize but dont men think? 4 days with his x or longer with his girl? Funny thing is once shes gone, and he is sitting alone on the ship (which is boring as hell now because there are only a few people on it and its in dry dock) and he starts to think, he is gonna really regret it! Silly Chop! They should implant something into the male brain that can over-ride the male penis for just 30 secs to help them think with the right brain! To give you poor buggers one moment of conciqence thoughts....Pity we cant revise some things we do because he has thrown what we had away.....No chance in hell I want him back!

Julie's sister is getting married on Saturday so we threw her a hen party. No strippers (fiance said we're not allowed to get one) but lots of tequila. Made her walk around in a little white tutu....very very funny!!

Saturday night was the big one!! Started at my god-mom's house for Lasange! (she still makes the best). From there we went to Saints, Po na na, moved on to a nice little place called Pulse (where I might have been dancing on the bar) and then to the famous Bronx. For those of you who don't know, its a gay bar in greenpoint but man does it ROCK!! Had LOADS of fun.....WAY to much to drink....and woke up saying the famous "Im never drinking again sentence!"

Sunday was long and man was very fragile!!! Did however still manage to get my ass up the ladder and go for a swing on the Flying Trapeze. Its been 17 months so I wont lie....it was SCARY!!!! Soooo HIGH!! Hopefully the weather over the weekend will be good again so we can go for another session. Now I remember why I got hooked...its a FAB feeling! :)

Hit Club duvet at 21h30 last night....feeling like a human today and not sleep deprived! Gonna head to the gym now and then probably the beach. Its another BEAUTIFUL beach day in Cape Town. Waiting to hear from Lea cause we might have to put the beach on hold to go jump out of a perfectly good aeroplane......never skydived and decided that its time..........IM SOOOO EXCITED! :)

Must dash!
*wave*

2005-11-09T19:37:00.000-08:00

Right so its been one of the longest days of my life!!!! Cant believe that something could be quite so boring!

Before heading back to the ship, Julie and I have to do a course of some sort....SWTC and well, its suppose to be for people who are joining ships for the first time. We have been living on a cruise ship for 17 months now and they are teaching us stuff we knew after only one month onboard. Have never fallen asleep in class before and well, today I did, but like 6 times. Eventually had to stand up to watch the one video which didnt seem to be much more helpful because I almost dosed off again!

Anywhoo tomorrow is the fun part apparenlty. Climbing out of water, up ladders and stuff....THANK HEAVENS!!

Rather sore today after playing indoor cricket. Its my first game since I left 17 months ago and man do I hurt. Was so so so much fun and am hoping to play another game before leaving!!

Internet at home is soooo slow! I cant believe how slow it is. Its ridiculous!! Im bored of waiting.....

Right, bored of waiting!
Im off
*wave*

Which tarot card am I ?

2005-11-06T22:58:00.000-08:00

This is what's said about me...........

You are the Sun card. The light of the Sun reveals all. The Sun is joyful and bright, without fear or reservation. The childish nature of the Sun allows you to play and feel free. Exploration can truly take place in the light of day when nothing is hidden. The Sun's rays fill you with energy so that you may live life to its fullest, milking pleasure out of each day. Such joy and energy can bring wealth and physical pleasure. To shine in the light of day is to have confidence, to soak up its rays is to feel the freedom of a child. Image from: Stevee Postman. http://www.stevee.com/

2005-11-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

Home sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet home!

After a HORRRIBLE flight with Air France (advice, DONT Fly with them!), we arrived home!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good to be here!! I havent really slept since I left Europe on Friday with a total of about 5 hours on the plane and then 4 last night! After this Im hitting my bed and HARD!

Cape Town is pretty much Cape Town! The weather is POOOOFY at the moment but Im hoping the week will brings lots of sun and beach days! :)

Will add some more info ASAP but you know what its like being home with a just a little bit of time!

*wave* from one of the most beautiful cities in the world!
me!

Trying to make it out strong

2005-11-01T16:13:00.000-08:00

My poor body has been fighting off some kind of sickness. Normally Julie is the one who falls ill but this time its hit me. On one day last week, the doctor on board saw 160 crew. Some SERIOUS bug going around I tell you.
My voice is all croaky and sometimes I think it might be better just to keep my mouch shut which we all knows is almost impossible!

The weeks has flown by leaving me 3 more days. I cant believe the weeks have flown by so quickly.....where did the 7 months go!?

Looking forward to home....always do I guess. This time I have 3 weeks which means at least I wont be running around like a complete nutter again!! Last time it was way to intense!
Got a few parties planned and then one being on the eve of my arrival. What are the chances that my mom is actually going to let me out of the house? Can only try I guess!!

Havent started packing but have had some thoughts about it. Hope those count! Going to try and pack "light" this time...its not something I do very well!! Its a big challenge which I plan on taking with both hands!

Got 4 shows left (2 tonight and 2 tomorrow night) which should be fun as its tradition to play tricks on each other on the final show. A few things planned and hoping Im not a target! :)
Watching the magic show last night was sad!! The couple I was talking about are Cripton and Jasmine. She was so professional and did sooooo well....she eventually cracked in the finale and started crying. I just wanted to get onto the stage and hold her tight. Love is just a lot of crock!! Why give your heart to someone when you know the chances of getting fucked over are so big? Imagine 10 years of your life thrown away because he had to go and play....rumour has it she forgave him and said that its their life and they can still make it work....he turned around and said he doesnt want to sort it out...he wants a divorce!

As for my relationship, my mind has been working over time....Yoni has an ex coming to visit and I still dont know what the story is going to be...we sat up all night talking about it the other day....it was 6am and I could have stayed awake...I could have carried on talking but you know when you reach the stage of just talking in circles.....pointless...

Last time in Corfu, for now that is...who knows if I will ever see this place again. I cant believe how many different cities I have seen in the last 16 months!! Brazil again which in itself is just a HUGE treat.....Copocabana here I come!

Time to jet!
*wave*

Relationships...

2005-10-29T01:07:00.000-07:00

This blog thing is kind of addictive.....was about to crawl into my bed and go to sleep instead I thought putting my thoughts down would be a better idea.....

Respect, love, trust, commitment, morals.......I could mention a zillion words that all lead to one thing......amazing how we have to go through each trial and error stage with someone to try and decide if they are good for us.....then, just when you think everything is peachy and they are good, a curve ball comes along and makes you wonder all over again....

Many people hate it when your current mentions the words, "my ex". As of yesterday so do I....its a very long story and actually way to intense to get into but I have no idea what to do now in this situation!
Thing is yesterday I knew exactly what I thought of the whole situation and then today, just like that, I couldnt care less. Ive come to the conclusion that its to protect myself that I have switched off all emotions.....is that possible?

In one week I will be on an aeroplane flying home.....its been 7 months since I saw Table Mountain and I cant actually believe that its been that long because in a way it feels like the other day. Living on a ship really messes with my time frames....I feel like Ive been dating Yoni for AGES but its actually been just over a month!!! Where do the days go? I think because everything is so small and intense on the ship that the time gets made to feel longer....got 3 weeks in SA which I bet will fly by like no tomorrow! :( Am gonna do my best to make the best of each day and fit in as many of my planned things in....

Just blabbering now....pointless carrying on!!
As they say in the movies, "thats a rap!"
8 more sleeps to go!
*wave*

2005-10-27T13:23:00.000-07:00

Its Wednesday night and our last time in Santorini!!! We busy sailing away from one of the most beautiful places I have ever been too. Hopefully one day in the future I will be able to come back and spend a week or so here....if you ever get the chance to visit Santorini I would HIGHLY recommend it!!

The day was spent riding around on scooters with the boys. Was rather romantic as it was 3 couples. Lots of fun actually! :) Watching the other couples made me think of lots of things and also wonder what they think of me and my man.
Its been just over a month and everything is still very new....still getting to know each other and so far so good!!! One little thing that might cause some issues but hopefully with trust and communication it wont!!!

Decided to take on Adams tag mission so here goes:

1) I cant sing to save my life even though its one of the things I wish I could do!!!
2) When I was little I wanted to be a Ice Skater.
3) Its easier to name which vegtables I eat than to name the ones I dont!!
4) Ive been to a million zillion different places in the world yet I still havent seen snow!
5) I love hanging upside down at great heights but I find climbing a ladder scary!
6) I never finished high school instead I ran away and joined the circus.
7) I went to 7 different schools and did a year of correspondence.
8) I have never had any operations or spent longer than a 3 hours in a hospital.
9) I get moody if I spend to many days without hanging upside down!
10) I am a photo freak! The amount of photos I have is ridiculous!
11) I think I have a friend on every continent of the world (Will have to check and confirm as my knowledge of the continents is bad!)
12) I can count to 10 and name 10 animals in Hebrew.
13) I dont have a middle name.
14) I still have all my wisdom teeth and my appendix.
15) I have not read all the Harry Potter books or watched all the Lord of the Kings
16) If I could spend a week with a famous person it would be Britney Spears.
17) My 21st birthday was at a Sushi Bar and I hate the stuff.
18) Torture is putting me somewhere without cellphone signal or internet access.
19) I have 4 piercings and 1 tattoo.
20) I wear contact lenses.

Wow, that was quite tough actually. Not exactly sure who Im suppose to tag as I dont have any taggable friends!! Another thing is I cant remember what time I started the challenge.

Lots of things floating around in my head today. So many things I dont understand about the human race and its things I will probably never understand!

Ooooh, some useless gossip - A couple I work with are getting divorced. Apparently she found him in bed with another woman!!! Rather surprised at him because I would never have thought anything like this would happen with them....they've been married for 10 years and I NEVER saw it coming! Not surprising however because it seems everyone on the ships do it. Just seems to be an okay thing especially with the Italians. One word of advice, if you not with your bf/gf on a ship, dont keep dating them! :(

Right, time to run!
*wave*

HAPPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY to meeee!!

2005-10-20T14:34:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was my birthday....another one has come and gone!! Cant believe that Im on the 24 mark!! WHERE DID THE YEARS go ?

The day was lovely with the great food, good friends and lots of tequila.

Started off having breakfast on deck 11 with Julie, Bo and Robin. YUMMMMMY!! Decided that another hour of sleep would be a good idea so headed back into bed!
Got off the ship and dashed to the restuarant where Karen and I tried to decorate the place. Def not something Im very good at!!

People arrived, we drank, drank more, had some delicious food and then drank more!! Had lots of fun and man are there alot of photos!!!

Will be putting them up shortly so keep checking back!

*wave*

piccie from the canal

2005-10-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

Here is a piccie from the canal! Got a little wind blown!

Useless one!

2005-10-18T12:41:00.000-07:00

Its been a week since I started my blog and I have impressed myself with a few entries!! They have all been short and sweet but Im sure as I get better at this and spend more time actually writing and not chatting they will become longer!

Still trying to work out the whole adding images thing and this and that so give me some time. Would love any ideas/suggestions which could make it all easier!

Got 18 days to go and then I will be standing on South African soil. Its a very very exciting thought and well CT HERE I COME!!!

Got so many things Im gonna have to fit into my 3 weeks but hopefully I can do that thing they call time management!!!

BIG day tomorrow. Yip, its my birthday and Im gonna be hitting 24!! OMG....where did the years go? I remember not so long ago being 18......

Always wonder where Im suppose to be in life at the age of 24 and well....its there any right or wrong stage!?

Off to meet a friend....well, an ex in a way! He is staying on the ship for 3 days and things have been really weird around him!! Ive started seeing someone new, we'll call him Y2K for now. He is funny as hell and just puts a silly smile on my face. *said in South African accent* I like him alot!!!
Its been a whole month tomorrow and its scary how the days have flown by!!! Would be lieing if I didnt say I sort of scared. After the whole Imri story, Im trying to play things easy and safe!!!

Time to dash!
*wave*

I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone....

2005-10-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

Amazing how that sentence gets used to pass on info/gossip from one person to another. Annoying how that you tell a person in COMPLETE confidence but then they go and tell someone else, in APPARENTLY complete confidence.

Its happened a few times this year and well each time I just brush it off but today I looked like a complete idiot when I was asked how another person knew something I got told.

I guess the moral of the story is to just not repeat anything. Its a horrible thought but I think the best way to maintain trust and save moments like today!

To not telling another soul....
*wave*

Out and About - Corinth Canal

2005-10-13T04:22:00.000-07:00

Up really really really early this morning (7am) to go on an excursion to the Corinth Canal in Athens. WOW is a good work to use I guess. It just has this peaceful feeling surrounding it.

We first stopped on the bridge which goes over the canal and then later we got to go on a boat and sail up and down it. Just really amazing. Difficult to explain really. Guess you gotto see it for yourself!!!

*wave*

A cold Santorini day!

2005-10-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

Its Wednesday again which means another day in Santorini!! Only 3 more after this which is rather sad cause I like it here!!!

The weather today has proved that winter is definetly on the way! :( We went to the beach but didnt remove any clothing, instead we put on jumpers!!

Off to organise things for my birthday party next week. Cant believe Im turning 24!!! WHERE DID THE YEARS go?

Thats all for now!
*wave*

My first entry

2005-10-11T02:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, its gonna be short and sweet cause I dont really have time now.

Decided that its time I try and keep a blog going! Just like my diary on my website its probably neva gonna be up-to-date but Im sure gonna try!!!!

Signing out for now!

*wave*